i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
