Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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