He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
