My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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