haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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