I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
