she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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