We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
