I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
