Don't you send me to vm
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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