Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
