Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
