You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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