I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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