I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
