Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
