It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
