Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
