is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
