I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
