i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
