Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
this just has baby written all over it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
