hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
