Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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