I have demons in me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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