All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
