no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
