she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
