Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

We need to rekindle our bromance

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop

(551): View more from New Jersey

I really wish I could say this is a new low for you

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(+06): View more from

it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

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(419): View more from Ohio

apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome

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(678): View more from Georgia

Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops

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(308): View more from Nebraska

this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

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(203): View more from Connecticut

A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back

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(310): View more from California

This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails

(310): View more from California

I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me

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