exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
