Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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