thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
