Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
