Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
