i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
