i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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