You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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