i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
