But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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