I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
