I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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