I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
