She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
