I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
