Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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