Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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