she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
