this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
