i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
