it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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