Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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