I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
