My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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