Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
